Calvin and Hobbes
Hysterical Video
Going Away Video #2
Going Away Video #3
Jason Getting Dunked
Jason Getting Catapulted
The Cabinet, Part 1
The Cabinet, Part 2
The Citrus Incident
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Current Music: My washing machine is on at the moment
Today's Random Fact: So far I've used my cell phone for 26 hours, 41 minutes, and 53 seconds.
So, today I got up really early and read the paper. Then I fell back asleep. I woke up and got ready for work, even got there early, but I forgot my lunch. Damnit. Work was busy, but I talked with Kelly, Joy, and Kim for a while. Tomorrow should be a lot of fun! (We're going to Cleats). After work Eric and Christina came over and we drank and ate a bit. I cleaned like a madman, and my place is finally clean. Maybe I'll have some people over tomorrow. Anywho, it needed to be done. Eric and Christina are passed out, and I still need to shower. Have a great weekend. Later, -T-
Kept thinkin' I would never live with my seatbelt wrapped around my side...
UPDATE!
Current Music: The sound of a cart rolling by
Today's Random Fact: I'm up to about a dozen packets of saltine crackers a day now.
Yesterday whilest I was cleaning my car, I had Nick move it. I leaned in the window for something, but that shut the door all the way and that activated the automatic seatbelt. It totally wrapped around me and totally fucked up my ribs. My side hurts really badly. It looks like someone took a bat to it.
Yeah, so there's nothing to do at work right now. That's nice because it means I get to goof around on the internet and get paid for it! Hooray
And... now I'm at home. I got totally soaked on the way to my car. It was cool though, reminded me of playing the the rain at OU, then convincing Collin that Jason fell in the river and Jon and I had to get him out. Classic.
My apartment is a disaster area. I'd clean it, but I'm really lazy and pretty tired. Maybe tomorrow. I also have to figure out how I'm going to pay for school. You know, little things like that.
For now though, I'm going to take a shower then hit the sack. I am fricken tired. Later, -T-
Current Music: Man do I need an MP3 player, work is so damn quiet at night!
Today's Random Fact: I already bought Jon's wedding gift!
So, I need more hours in a day. Mostly so I could get some sleep and not be so damn tired all the time. See, I need to get up early before work and get things done, and when I do that I can't sleep in and/or go to the pool! Today for instance I had to go to my mom's place and clean my backseat, because there was a huge brown stain on it. I used my new carpet cleaner thingy. It worked fine I guess, but it's kinda under-powered. It was also really damn hot in the car sitting in the sun. I mean, it was 92 degrees in the shade today, so I can't imagine how hot it was in my greenhouse of a car.
Then I showered and came to work. Last night I vacuumed really well and got some food at GE. Tonight I have to do the FAFSA thing online (It's due by the end of the month) and I should probably do some dishes. I've run out of room to stack the dirty ones. Yeah. And I need to cook some food for lunches for the next few days. And I should see Lyndz. Ah nuts. No sleep tonight either.
Here are some funny things I’ve seen recently. Entertain yourself, I’m off to fill out the FAFSA thing. Later, -T-
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This guy wrote a shit-load of feedback on random eBay users. Funny stuff
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And now, a joke:
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They walk by the condom display and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"
The man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex."
The boy picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6-pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers. "Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy. "Then who uses these?" he asks, picking up a 12-pack.
With a sigh, the dad replies, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for..."
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Finally something I got from Crut’s VPML (Click on the pink chigger at the bottom of this site) If you’ve seen the movie, and the commercial tie-ins, and read the hype about the video game, well, just read it:
Matrix Reloaded Explained
KEANU enters a ROOM OF LIGHT.
KEANU enters a white room, the walls of which are covered in monitors. A chair spins around to reveal THE EXPLAINER.
KEANU REEVES
Who are you?
THE EXPLAINER
I am The Explainer. I designed the matrix screenplay. Unable to decently explain the convoluted plot well, I have resorted to putting myself here in the final act and having you ask all of the questions the audience wants to ask.
(dramatic pause)
You must begin by asking your own questions then gradually switch to asking those of the audience, in order to not make this scene any more awkward than it already is. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant.
KEANU REEVES
Why am I here?
THE EXPLAINER
Many years ago, shortly before the success of Speed, you sold your soul to the devil in exchange for a promise of notoriety that your piss-poor acting skills do not deserve. This series is the actualization of this promise.
KEANU REEVES
What was the Osiris? And who was that kid in zion who kept pestering me?
THE EXPLAINER
You will find the answers to these questions by purchasing The Animatrix, a collection of nine animated shorts from some of Anime's top directors.
KEANU REEVES
Alright. Well, what was that crap Glora said about vampires and werewolves? And how did Jada Pinkett Smith get to Laurence Fishburne during the car chase? And what the hell happened during the power plant takeover climax that-wasn't?
THE EXPLAINER
You will find the answers to those questions by purchasing the Enter The Matrix game, available for Windows, Playstation2, Xbox, and Gamecube. Enter the Matrix features awesome gunplay and spectacular martial arts that bend the rules of the Matrix. This game isn't just set in the Matrix universe--it's an integral part of the experience, with a story that weaves in and out of The Matrix Reloaded. Enter the Matrix is the story behind the story.
KEANU REEVES
Fine! Then tell me this, what the hell is with Hugo Weaving saying he and I have some special connection? And how come I can control machines in the real world? And will we win the war if I don't choose the door to my right?
THE EXPLAINER
You will find the answers to these questions when you watch The Matrix Revolutions, coming later in 2003.
KEANU REEVES
I hate you.
THE EXPLAINER
Perhaps you should drink more Powerade.
KEANU REEVES
Just answer me one question. We're not going to find out that the real world is in another matrix, are we?
THE EXPLAINER
Christ I hope not.
KEANU leaves and flies to save CARRIE-ANNE MOSS from being shot. She is SHOT anyway. Then KEANU reaches into her matrix code and pulls out the bullet in a comical fashion.
CARRIE-ANNE MOSS
That was preposterous.
KEANU REEVES
Wait till you see what I do outside of the ship.
THE CREDITS roll, as DISC ONE of the soundtrack is played in its entirety.
END
Current Music: Notta damn thing
Today's Random Fact: I need about 4 cans of pop a day to keep me going. I am totally addicted to caffeine
So, since the last time we met I got a cat! Well, the cat's gone now, we found it's owner. She was very very very happy to have her "muffin" back. She had a tiny little dog that was a third of the size of the cat. The dog missed her a lot too. The lady was very appreciative that we took care of her cat for her. Anywho, no more cat. I kinda miss it, but I was pretty allergic to it, and Lyndz was deathly allergic to it, so I guess it's for the best. I might pick one up from the pound or something later on.
I've been working a lot and getting my finances under control. They were pretty out there for a while, but I'm all organized again. Cutting up my debit card was a great idea, it really cuts down on my spending.
Lyndz is working just as much as me. Have you ever heard of a waitress making overtime pay? It only comes out to 3 something an hour, but still, that's ridiculous. We don't see each other very much, and that really sucks.
The weather is finally nice, and that means I should be up at the pool more. It sucks because I don't have time! Ah well, maybe tomorrow. I have a lot to get done tonight, but if I do it all I can chill all morning tomorrow before work.
What else? To be hoenst the cat thing was the only thing out of the ordinary this week so far. Other then that it's been work work work...
Oh, I went to a wedding Saturday night. They had Grey Goose, and I fell in love with it. So smooth! Other then that I had three beers and some really good champange. I think it was called Taylor. I want to pick some of that up. We didn't stay all that long, just ate, drank, and ran. I love receptions like that.
One last thing before I go: The next time you have to buy shoes, buy New Balance. They're one of the only shoe companies that actually makes their shoes in America. The shoes cost a slight bit more because of it, but the quality is worth it. Also, they don't waste money getting celebrity endorsements, they just make good shoes. But the important thing is, they do it in this country. BUY NEW BALANCE!
Oh, and Avia shoes suck balls. I wore out a pair of those in a month. What garbage.
Anywho, that's all for tonight. I've got some vaccuuming to do, then it's off to bed. Later, -T-
Current Music: That god-awful jazz again
Today's Random Fact: Dover Lake Water Park is in Sagamore Hills, not Penninsula
Yep, I'm on the clock whilest I write this update! I love downtime. Let's see...
Did you know gas stations stopped accepting checks? I went to three different ones and asked to pay with a check and they just looked at me like I just asked where I could buy a human hand. I know checks are totally 1980's, but still!
I had this coupon for $15 in free dry cleaning that I got when I moved into my new apartment over a year ago. It said it expired in 90 days, but there was no date on it so I figured I'd use it when I had a need for dry cleaning. Well, after a year I had a huge pile and decided to go get it all cleaned. When I presented it the guy at the counter looked at me like I just told him that the gas station told me I could buy a human hand at his place. Turns out the place changed ownership and they haven't accepted those coupons for a little over a year. I still haggled with him over the price and got a few bucks off. Then he said the clothes wouldn't be ready for a week. Stupid dry cleaning guy...
And now I’m home.
So, I got home after a very long and unsuccessful trip to find a working golden goat aluminum can thing and took a shower. Then I cleaned my bathroom, started cleaning my kitchen, and started cooking fish and pirogues.
Then I got a frantic call from Lindsey. She was somewhere in my development and wanted me to come to her right away. Something about a cat. I threw on a shirt and my sandals and ran out the door.
Literally, I ran. My sandals made this really loud noise as I ran down the road. I didn’t see her car, so I kept running. When I finally found her I was really breathing hard. Why did she call me frantically? She found an abandoned cat. Yes, I left my food cooking because she found a cat. Hooray. We got it inside my place and it was all cuddly. So we go to the store to buy some cat food and a flea collar and we hit up my mom’s place for Bear’s old litter box and then we came back here. The new cat (still unnamed) didn’t eat any of the turkey, tuna fish, or fish sticks that I put out for her, but she did eat some cat food. Then I tried to wipe her off with a wet paper towel (because she is filthy) bad idea. She got all pissed. So we let her alone for a while and she was all happy again. So I tried to put the flea collar on her. She went nuts and scratched me. So we let her alone. Some time passed. I wised up and put on my old leather jacket, jeans, and two pairs of hospital gloves. I tried again. This time she ripped through both pairs of gloves like Wolverine on crack cocaine. I gave up on the collar. I managed to get her in Bear’s old cat box thing and now she’s locked up in the bathroom. I’m taking her to the vet tomorrow to get all cleaned up and checked out. I’m also posting signs for a found cat. This thing had better calm down. I mean, I know it needs sleep and food and to get herself all cleaned up, because that’s what cats like, but she’s really pretty crazy.
Ah, the adventures...
So now I’m all scratched to shit and I am really tired. I figured I’d update though, because I was talking to Jon and Jason as I got called away and by the time I was done dealing with the psycho cat, they were both offline (sorry guys).
Well, it’s time for some much deserved rest. I now have to get up early on my day off and take this insane cat to the vet. Stupid cat... Later, -T-
P.S. I’m just assuming it’s a girl because of her attitude. She just seems like a bitch. We’ll find out tomorrow. And maybe I’ll have a name for it. Since my dog’s name is Kitt, and her nickname is Kitty, I really want to call the cat Puppy. That would be true Todd humor. Lindsey said absolutely not. She found the cat, so I guess she gets that veto power. Maybe I’ll call her Pizza. That was my first choice for Kitt. Ah well. -T-
Current Music: That horrible light rock is on in the background again.
Today's Random Fact: Canada Dry is by far the best ginger ale. Nothing else can compare.
Yeah, so I hop on a computer at work today and someone had played around on it already. On one of the hospital sign on screens they typed "The Cobra Event". Now, that in itself would be odd, but that's the title of the book I've been reading here during my downtime. What the hell would someone do that for? I thought everyone here was on the level, I guess not. I mean, isn't that a little odd?
I couldn't sleep last night. I had the weirdest dreams. I finally fell asleep sometime after 6am and then I slept through my alarm and was almost late for work. I got ready really fast, I hope my dog had time to piss whilst she was outside. Ah well.
And...I’m home. The dog didn’t mess in the house, so that’s cool. I already ate some leftovers, but I’m still hungry. To correct this I’m making some muffins. I’ll eat the muffins, then take a shower. After the shower I’ll read until I fall asleep. Hopefully I can sleep tonight, last night was not cool.
I have a lot to do tomorrow before work, so I’m gonna get going. Hope everything with you is going well. Oh, I dropped my cell phone and it died. I have to go get it replaced, but until then, no cell phone. Nuts. Later, -T-
Go there and fill it out. This crap needs to stop. -T-
Current Music: The beeping of the Hospital and the chattering of the people who work here.
Today's Random Fact: My jaw still hurts like crazy.
So, what's up with you? I'm pretty much the same since the last time we talked. My jaw still hurts, but that's nothing new. I performed another little medical procedure on myself last night and that was a success. Yay for ingenuity.
What else? Um, I'm bored? We're really slow right now and I've been pretty bored all evening. I wish I had a radio or something. I've been meaning to buy an MP3 player but haven't gotten around to it. It's that whole procrastination/lazy thing that gets me. The medical profession would diagnose me as ADD/ADHD. I call it being me. Who cares if I can't focus? I mean, will it honestly get in the way of... Hey look! A bird!
I've been reading a lot of Richard Preston recently. I read "The Demon in the Freezer: A True Story" already and it was seriously one of the scariest things I've ever read. And it's a true story. It totally solidified my desire to go into Pathology R&D later in my career. Now I'm reading "The Cobra Event". Supposedly this book scared President Clinton so badly he formed a task force to see if it really could happen. Oh, it's about a Bio-Weapons attack on NYC. Scary shit. I still have to grab "The Hot Zone". Did you know the library lets you borrow books for free?!? What a great idea!
Okay, so work got really busy and I didn’t have time to finish the update, so now I’m at home. I just got back from my mom’s place actually. She gave me food, so that was nice. She also told Eric he couldn’t buy the jeep he wanted. He was pretty pissed. Poor guy. It’s not that big a deal though, it’s not like he had the money to pay for it with anyway. Ah well.
I’m going to cook now so I have food for dinner tomorrow. Later! -T-
Current Music: I’m at work right now drafting this first copy, so there's creepy jazz music on in the background.
Today's Random Fact: Saltine crackers and Coke make a wonderful snack.
Yeah, so like I said, I'm at work right now. I figured I really should get cracking on the whole 'updating' thing again, and whilest I have some downtime, I'm going to start here! There's nothing like getting paid to Blog, let me tell ya...
So, since we last met I have done some stuff, cleaned, worked a whole lot, saw Lyndz, and slept a little in-between. I also reconnected my basic home phone service in order to get my DSL back up and running. I have been very frugal with my money as of recent because I have been very VERY broke, and because of that I have been eating a lot of my favorite snack at work (see above).
Lyndz has been working a lot too, so that means we don't spend very much time together. That causes some fights, but we manage. My jaw has been awful recently (I have TMD, people often say TMJ, but that's the name of the joint. TMD is the name of the condition.) Anywho, it's been really bad and I've been taking a whole lot of Motrin. (Free meds from work are awesome) I also fixed my appliance thingy that I'm supposed to wear at night. I wore it last night for the first time in months. Hopefully it'll help a bit. The headaches are something awful.
It's finally summer! Well, not officially, but the weather is finally starting to act like it. I was able to swim at the pool last Sunday and yesterday before work. I got some major sun, but as StrongBad says, it helps your abs stand out. Hooray for abs. This coming weekend is supposed to be really nice too.
I gave my dog a bath on Sunday too. She hated it, but she really needed it. Now she's all soft and I'll pet her again. We've been playing outside a lot taking advantage of the nice weather and all. She likes chasing the raccoons.
Women are crazy. I just thought I’d throw that one out there. Talk amongst yourselves.
I got a new Maxim in the mail today. Nothing lifts my, um, spirits more then a funny new Maxim.
I hate feeling dirty. Because of that I shower twice a day. And when I shower I have a fan that blows all the steam out because the normal ceiling bathroom fan thing doesn’t work all that well. Steam is bad.
I’m babbling, so I’m gonna go. This whole ‘writing the update’ at work thing is kinda nice though. I’ll probably do it more often. Later! -T-
Current Music: My washing machine is doing its thing.
Today's Random Fact: Smallpox is scary shit.
So, like I said, everything is different. And by everything I mean this blogger entry screen. Pretty much everything else is still the same though. I hung out at the pool today and got burned, Jason and Eric came over this evening and we watched Barbershop, Tyler and I flirted with my upstairs neighbor, you know, the usual.
I'll post a really long update tomorrow to get you all up to speed, but you can relax knowing that I'm back. If you need me, I'll be catching up on my Homestar. Later, -T-
P.S. Jon's glad "the Todd is not dead". Or in jail. I DO need to get fitted for a tux though...
Current Music: My bones are creakin' and my muscles are achin'. Other then that, not a damn thing.
Today's Random Fact: One kilogram = 2.2 pounds
Yeah, so today I totally slept through church. Lyndz woke my ass up and I went over her place around lunch time. After watching her eat a hamburger we fell asleep on her couch. Well, we did other things too, but that's none of your buisness. (Okay, we watched TV, but I had to make it sound a little exciting right?)
After we woke up she went to work and I went to a graduation party. Technically it was for my cousin Justice, his sister Athena, and my brother Eric. Eric and Justice graduated high school and Athena graduated college. Anywho, it was a pretty nice party. I saw all my family members, which I haven't done since around Christmas, and I ate a lot of food.
I also played on the trampoline.
See, Eric was wrestling with his girlfriend's fat friend. Seriously, she's massive, and normally I don't make fun of fat people (okay, yes I do, but still...) but she acts like a man. Anywho, Eric was wrestling with her, and somehow I got up there and started fake wrestling with Nick. Then Eric said something about how strong Nick is now and how he gives good headlocks. So I let Nick try to put me in a headlock. The little bastard almost made me pass out! He's really strong now, all those times getting the shit beat out of him from Eric really paid off! Well then Eric joined in and the three of us beat on each other for a while, then Eric and I went at it alone. Then some other people wrestled, including Nick and my one of my other cousins, Kevin. Nick did this amazing jump thing, he jumped up and wrapped his legs around Kevin's neck, then flipped him like that. It was nuts. He also did a few jump-kicks into Kevin's chest. Not bad for an 11 year-old. Then Eric and I fought again. By the end of it we both were limping off the trampoline. It was awesome. There is something so primal about beating the living shit out of someone else.
The first rule of Fight Club is...
But seriously, you should try it. You get sore, and you're bruised, but the feeling is amazing. It's totally primal. Eric said he's going to buy a trampoline. If he does, I'm going over there a lot more. Oh, and for the record, we were both completely sober.
After that I took Nick to my dad's parents and we chilled there for a while. I watched most of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles , The Movie. It's old, and it's corney, but it's still pretty funny. From there I came home and clipped coupons, then Lyndz came over and we made a quick trip to Giant Eagle, then we ate some food. She took off, I paid the rent and played with Kitt outside, then I wrote this.
I am so sore, but I'm feelin' good. Now it's time for a nice hot shower, then bed. Oh, Eric and I spent almost the entire party quoting the Teen Girl Squad. That my friends, is a sign of Homestar addiction. Ah well, it's all good. Later, -T-
Current Music: SNL is on in the background, but I was playing the guitar before.
Today's Random Fact: Bratwursts are hard to cook indoors.
Yeah, so I promised a big update yesterday right? Sorry. I fell asleep.
So what have I done this week? Well, I got up early and went to class, but then I got bumped to the second five week session, so no more of that for a while. I worked and enjoyed my 3-11 shift. There's nothing like only working 5 out of the 8 hours. I get an hour off for lunch and from 9 to 11 I basically surf the web. It's a pretty cake job, and it'll be really nice when I have a lot of homework to do.
Let's see I haven't seen Lyndz a lot because she's been working a lot too. She's working all weekend too, so that sucks dirty ass. Ah well, I had shit to do here, so it's not all that bad. Speaking of which, I cleaned like a madman today. Everything is all clean now, and trust me, it needed to be done.
My dog knocked over my apple seedlings. I almost killed her.
There was a code yesterday in the morgue. That my friends, is irony.
I was awoken Friday morning by two Jehovah Witnesses. They apologized for waking me up and gave me a brochure. I tossed it in the trash and went to bed.
Everyone told me that George Foreman grills were amazing. They told me that I had to have one. I got one for my birthday and I was excited. The damn thing sucks balls. I mean come on! It's sloped to let the grease off. Big fucking whoop! It doesn't cook anything but chicken. Burgers? So much better fried. Bratwurst? Why bother? Boil the damn things, then pan fry them. Such a waste...
If you're goofing off at Homestarrunner.com, try a totally random file name, like http://www.homestarrunner.com/luau.html It's a funny 404 type 'Teen Girl Squad'
And now, so this isn't too long, I'm going to take my leave. But first, here's two horrible jokes!
Q: What's the difference between a clever pygmy and a woman jogger?
A: A clever pygmy is a cunning runt.
Q: What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?
A: The woman in church has hope in her soul.
Later, -T-
