*BNR* is *Blog Name Removed*

Posted 1:23 PM by Todd

While sitting in front of a blank computer screen trying to think of a clever way to open, my dog sneezed and startled the shit out of me. I guess that's one way to do it! Onto the extended Memorial Weekend UPDATE!

Current Music: Conan is on in the background, but I've had the Saved By the Bell theme stuck in my head all day.
Today's Random Fact: People who live in urban environments have longer, thicker, denser hairs then those who in live in rural areas.

First things first: I've made a few aesthetic changes to the site. I'm using the term *BNR* a little more (it's an acronym for *BlogNameRemoved*, please tell me you already knew that), I added a few links over on the right, and I've been promoting the hell out of the site. For those of you who have been with it since the beginning, *BNR* is over a year old! Hooray! In Internet years that's like, um, 8 and a half years old! It seems like just yesterday I was at *Hospital Name Removed* getting fired for my old Blog...

I went to the Post Office the other day, and there was a sign in the window that said, "No pets allowed except those assisting blind persons." I didn't realize the post office had a problem with people bringing in their hamsters and pot-bellied pigs. Also, why did they put up a sign that says "except for blind people"? Did a lot of blind people see the sign that said "no pets" and get upset? I really doubt it.

I went to the grocery store too. While there I watched a group of high-school guys buy three massive packs of toilet paper. It was hilarious because there were a dozen adults watching them make the purchase. (A dozen adults includes me, because I'm an adult now. Scary.) The guys were trying really hard not to laugh, and the adults were just smiling. It's an awkward tension that can only be felt in suburbia. I broke it by telling the guys that next time they should avoid the Super Burritos at Taco Bell. They completely lost it, it was great. After they left the manager-type guy at the store told us that they call the cops after people buy a ton of eggs, but they don't care about toilet paper because it's pretty harmless. Interesting.

Ya know how I mentioned Saved by the Bell earlier? I think that's the defining television show for my generation. Seriously. The acting was awful, the plots were cheesy, and yet I probably saw every single episode. Now I find out that they're releasing it on DVD. I don't want to buy it, but I think I have to. It's almost required for me as a 23 year-old.

Since I'm on the subject, they really need to release Tiny Toons, Animainiacs, and Gargoyles on DVD too. I loved all three of those shows. My grandparents have the Tiny Toons movie on VHS, and I've got the Animainiacs CDs, but I want to have them all on DVD! Someone do something about this.

Random note: I've come to peace with the fact that I drive an ugly car. Actually, I think I've actually become proud of it. It's small, it's ugly, it's old, and it gets great gas mileage! So just remember, your brand new SUV might look awesome, but after your insurance and gasoline expenses, I've got a lot more money to buy DVDs then you do! Ha! Mad props for the Escort!

A while back I dispelled the whole Neosporin in your nose myth. If you didn't read that, go back into the archives around April 5th. Anywho, it's time to dispel another myth. I've seen more and more people sticking dryer sheers in their furnace vents in an effort to eliminate static electricity. Um, that's just stupid. First off, you're blocking the air flow and as consequence reducing the efficiency of your furnace. So, your furnace has to work harder and longer to push the hot air out right? That means you're wasting gas. Second, dryer sheets eliminate static on your laundry because they're covered in a fabric softener that's a form of wax. As your clothes are drying, the wax melts onto a clothes and prevents the raw fibers from rubbing against each other. Thus, no static. In your furnace vents the sheets do nothing.

Wait, go back to me at the grocery store for a second. There's a little old lady that works there at night (it's open 24 hours). We always chat a bit, but this time I was wearing my nice watch instead of my normal one. She noticed it right away and complimented it. I like my nice watch for two reasons: Number one, it looks really tight. Number two, I didn't buy it! (Lyndz gets all the credit for that one)

Have you noticed that some microwave ovens alternately switch directions that the rotating plate spins? At first I thought that I was going crazy, but then I started paying attention. Why in the world do they do that? Isn't it okay for my soup to only spin clockwise? Why do the microwave people like to F with me?!

Since I work at a hospital I see a lot of kids. I love making them smile, because if you're a little kid, the hospital is a scary f-ing place. Anywho, I normally carry a couple extra latex gloves in my pocket just in case of an emergency right? Well, when I see a little kid, I take one out of my pocket and make a big deal out of blowing it up like a balloon. I make sure they're watching as I draw a face on it, then I hand it over. It's simple, but kids absolutely love it. It feels really nice making a kid smile like that. When I see their eyes light up, I think more and more about going into pediatrics. Either that or clown school.

Blue Man Group was just on Carson. I didn't realize those guys could kick ass! Shit, I'd like to see them live...

Every time I watch the news they mention another "holy city" in Iraq. There seems to be an awful lot of them, and that got me thinking. I think we need some Holy Cities here in Ohio! Cleveland has been searching for something to turn its economy around, and I think that "holy city" distinction would do the trick! In fact, I think I'll start the trend. From now on, I will refer to it as "The Holy City of Cleveland".

I like to drink wine when I do my taxes, it makes it easier. Same thing with wrapping Christmas presents. Check the archives for that story too. So last night I had to do a bunch of financial aid paperwork, so I figured I should do the wine thing then too. I wanted to do something different though, so instead of a chilled white I went with a Merlot. It took some getting used to, but I liked it. Not as much as I do Rieslings, Chardonnay's and Chianti's, but whatever. It was only when I finally finished with all the forms that I realized it might not be a good idea for me to drink when filling out important financial paperwork. I have to admit, it did make the math interesting!

I think my grandpa is addicted to concrete. Working with it, not eating it.

Lyndz and I went canoeing yesterday, and I must say, it was an adventure! The first part was easy, we covered three miles in an hour. We stopped for lunch for a bit, then got back on the river. Almost right away we started getting attacked by deer flies. Then we had to pull off the river because there was a massive tree completely blocking the river. We had no choice but to carry the canoe over land to get around it. So, back in the river and back to the bugs. Then the sky darkened and the storms started. We paddled like crazy, but the thunder and lightning caught up to us. It was honestly scary, I mean, we were in a big metal boat in the middle of a river. It didn't seem very safe at all. We tried to find somewhere to pull off, but the first place we chose was actually a beaver dam. After seeing the beaver crawling around, we started paddling again and found a better spot. When the lightning stopped we pulled back out and I noticed that my sunglasses were gone. Terrific. Then the bugs came back, and while she was swatting them away Lyndz lost her sunglasses. Wonderful. Then came the rapids. We got stuck on a rock in the first set. I got us off by sitting in the front up by Lyndz and bouncing it about, but then we got spun around. After righting it we promptly got stuck on a log. I was able to lift off of it easily though. We finished with the rest of the rapids without incident and got to the livery shortly thereafter. When we pulled ourselves out of the river the final time we were covered in mud. Like I said, it was quite an adventure.

What else did I do over my extended weekend?
- Saturday: Had some family drama, then went to the Tops Great American Rib Cook Off and participated in the rib eating contest. I didn't win, but I did eat a lot of ribs. Tried to see the HomeStarRunner.com 'Cheatar' at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but it wasn't there! I was mad. Then I went swing dancing with Lyndz and her friends (and didn't make a total ass of myself). After that we watched some Family guy and I played with her friend's cat. Brother Eric came over and showed us his new car too.
- Sunday: Went to church then went to the pool and laid out a bit. After that we went back to Lyndz's house and had a dinner with her family. I love talking with her uncle, and her family always has great wine, especially Chardonnay's. That night we saw The Day After Tomorrow (Review coming soon).
- Monday: Went to the Tops Great American Rib Cook Off again. For those of you who are counting, that's the second time! This time Lyndz's dad came and he introduced us to Ingram Hill, so that was cool. I also ate a lot more ribs, so that was cool too. (Quick note: We got in to the burn-off free because of the contest and her dad and we parked for free both times as well! Hooray!) We went to Blockbuster afterwards and tried to rent a movie for the first time in years. (I won a free rental). After browsing for a while I remembered why I don't rent any movies anymore. Yuck. So we came home and watched my Dennis Miller disc and drank some wine, then got some pizza and watched Fools Rush In while drinking more wine.
- Tuesday: Canoed (see above), went to Brother N's baseball game, then went to dinner at Fugi's Japanese Steakhouse. If you've never been there, it's in Macedonia and it's amazing. Next time you're in the area and you don't know where to eat, go there! We were exhausted and fell asleep early.

On a great closing note: I just mentioned that Brother N had his first baseball game of the season Tuesday right? Well, he went one for two with a single, two stolen bases, and one run scored. His team won two to one. Good job brother N!

That's enough for today. Hope you had a nice read, stop back soon for a quick movie review of Troy and The Day After Tomorrow! Later, -T-