*BNR* is *Blog Name Removed*

Posted 9:01 AM by Todd

So I’m lying on the couch trying to get into a comfortable position to type out this UPDATE. There doesn’t seem to be an easy way to do this. My left arm is crammed against the couch and my wrists are at an odd angle. But I’m going to figure out how to do this. Either that or I’m going to take a nap. So let’s see what we can do...

…and I took a nap. Typical.

But now I’m going to tackle this head on. I’m going to sit up on the couch and type this out! But first I’m kinda hungry. Hang on, gotta eat something. And find something to read while I eat, because I can’t just eat. I have to read at the same time. It’s a habit I have and Fiancée can’t stand it. But that’s neither here nor there. So let me feed my face, then seriously, we’re gonna get this done...

Well, eating took a few hours. I discovered that there’s a new unprotected wireless network somewhere in my condo complex that I can access from my couch, and that led to some serious askaninja.com viewing, and well, I was lazy.

But now I’m seriously going to do this! Okay, so what follows is the typed out version of the journal that I hand wrote on my recent trip to Europe.

EuroTrip ’06: The Proposal

06/22/06 1300 Eastern Daylight Time – Cleveland Hopkins Airport, Gate A2
$7.08. That’s how much I’ve spent already on this trip. One giant bottle of water and a personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut Express. (In hindsight, I drank a lot of water on the trip. Compared to today for instance, where so far I’ve drank one Venti Latte and a bottle of Pepsi. That’s not so good.) I’m sitting in Cleveland waiting for my flight to Chicago. So far they’re sticking with the 1330 departure, but I don’t see an airplane. There are a lot of storms over Chicago right now.

I think combined over the last two nights I’ve gotten about 5 hours of sleep. Yuck. It’s going to be so nice getting away from work. Even sitting here writing this I feel like I’m charting. (Pt resting quietly at this time, no c/o pain, IVF infusing w/o incident, safety maintained, call light within reach, will continue to monitor.) I really wish I knew how long this delay is going to be, I’m already antsy, and I know I’ve got a couple of hours to kill in Chicago too. So far though, everything is okay.

06/22/06 1530 Central Daylight Time – O’Hare Airport, Terminal E Dining Area
Well, the flight from Cleveland was cool. I talked with the guy who sat next to me (Paul). He’s pre-med at NYU. I was bored, so I told him I’m a first year med-student. (In hindsight I should’ve said I was just starting my second year because of it being summer and all, but he didn’t catch it, so I guess is doesn’t matter.) I pulled it off really well. Lyndz said that isn’t a good thing, but I thought it was fun. Also, while we were flying from Cleveland, we had to fly up and through a really wicked storm. We avoided most of the thunderheads, but we had to fly through a couple, and those threw our little jet around like a pinball. Good times.

So I’m sitting in the café area. I ate a sandwich and exchanged my cash (not a lot, only what I had on hand.) Now I’m reading “The Street Lawyer” by John Grisham. There are a lot of kids around and they’re already pissing me off. I have a headache just like the last time I was here.

While I was going through security there was an Arabic family in front of me. Being the international terminal, there were a lot of people from all over the world. Anyway though, there was a husband, a wife, and a few kids. They had a lot of luggage. After showing their boarding pass to the first security guard, the husband just walked away leaving the wife to bring all the kids and ALL the luggage by herself. Very typical of the culture. So the security guy tells me to hold on a second, then goes over, gets the husband, and yells at him to help his wife carry the bags. The kids looked terrified, like they knew daddy was going to yell, so did the wife actually, but the security guard was much bigger then the husband and he didn’t say a word. He went back and took, I shit you not, one bag. I smiled at the security guy and laughed, but that wasn’t the end of the story. The people at the screening area saw the whole thing too, and I’ll be damned if that jerk wasn’t pulled aside for a nice long ‘random check’. At least his wife and kids got a few minutes away from him.

(Took a break from writing because Lyndz called until 1615)

So yeah, I totally just blurted out that I bought a ring and then I had to make up a story to cover it up. I think she bought it, but damn, I almost blew it! Months of planning and keeping a secret! Nuts! Man, that was close. I’m seriously shaking. Okay, now I need another beer, but first, it’s pee time.

1750 – Gate M2
So I’m waiting at the gate, almost ready to board. Apparently I’ve got a window seat, which I’m not really thrilled about. If it’s an exit row, that’ll be okay, but odds are that it’s not. Nuts. Well, maybe I can trade with the person next to me or something.

So I was at the bar drinking a beer (Bud) and trying to ease my nerves and convince myself that she totally bought the story. (“I hope you won’t be disappointed, I mean, you really don’t think I bought a ring do you? I thought we agreed this wasn’t the right to get engaged right?”) I think it worked. Anyway, I was at the bar and a random (German) guy came up next to me and placed an order for two beers. He paid with a gift certificate he apparently got the day before for free food and stuff after being delayed overnight. Apparently those storms were pretty bad here too. Anyway, the bartender told him he had a lot of money left from the gift certificate but that she wasn’t allowed to give him change. He said keep the rest as a tip and she said she couldn’t do that either. She convinced him to get a couple bottles of water and some potato chips, but even then he still had some left. He just wanted to leave, so finally he looked over at me and said, “You want beer?” Of course I did, so he got me more beer! I was still drinking my #2, so the bartender saved it for me. I said thanks. That was really nice of him. So then a little later as the German dude was all packed up and ready to leave with his friend, he came up and gave me another gift certificate! This one for $20! That’s four more beers! There’s no way I could drink 4 plus the saved one, I’m already full and tired. So I gave that one to the guy sitting next to me. I think he was French. He had no idea what I was doing. He thought I wanted change. So I used my talents at speaking “hospital broken English” (basically me talking with my hands using really basic words) to explain to him that it was a gift. He was appreciative, so that was an awesome little “pay it forward”. Except in this case no little kid who sees dead people has to die.

Sorry, that’s sick humor, but I’m exhausted and I’ve already had three beers. Oh! Remember that beer the bartender saved? (#3) I really didn’t want it by the time I was done with #2, but it was free, so I was torn. She came up with a solution. She said that since it was unopened I could take it with me to the gate! Yup, you heard it here first; you can load up on (in this case cold) beer in your carry on and bring it through security. They scanned it and didn’t say a word. How odd is that? I just drank my first x-rayed beer!

Oh my... The Aer Lingus stewardesses have arrived! To paraphrase OddTodd, hello boobs in my face! (See first Ireland trip). Man do I need that Aisle seat!

So, hopefully soon we’ll be boarding...

Oh, I forgot to write that when I exchanged my cash for Euro money I noticed a bag left unattended. I reported it and right as everyone was jumping into full-fledged anti-terror status, the guy who forgot it came running over. He sheepishly apologized and everyone kinda backed down. Damn, I was almost part of something big.

Frost just called and said there’s severe flooding in Cleveland. Apparently those thunderhead we flew over are doing some serious damage. He said cars are floating. Not hydroplaning, but actually floating. I didn’t believe him, but he took pictures (seriously, it was nuts)

Okay, enough for now. I’m sleepy. Maybe more on the plane.

06/22/06 2200 Central Daylight Time – Somewhere over the Northern Atlantic.
Well, so far the flight’s gone off without any major problems. I’m sitting right over the wing, but not in an exit row. Next to me is a gigantic woman (seriously, taller then me and about 100 pounds heavier.) That isn’t leaving me much room to do much of anything. She works for an environmental group from San Francisco. She’s very nice and we talked about my plans to propose. Anywho, eating dinner was a challenge. I equated it to eating in the phone booth. After eating I really had to pee, so the lady got up and I made my way back to the bathroom. After standing there for a few minutes, the flight attendant got on and politely (but sternly) asked everyone to sit back down. The fasten seatbelt sign was still on and we had to wait. Nuts. So I sat back down. Neighbor lady was empathetic, so we devised a plan. The second that little light went off, we were going to jump up and be the first ones there. Well, it took a while, but it dinged and I was ready to jump, but her seatbelt was stuck! No! There were no seatbelts in this plan! I saw other people getting up and making their way back to the toilets and I panicked. What was I going to do?! I did the only thing I could think of, I jumped over the lady. Yup. I still don’t know how I did that, but my bladder wasn’t going to take no for an answer twice. I made it back and did my duty. I felt much better afterwards, trust me on that. So, after that adventure I figured I’d fall right asleep seeing how tired I was and how I had not slept up until this point. Wrong! I couldn’t get comfortable and only ended up dosing off for about 30 minutes towards the very end of the trip. Nuts.

Anyways, I’m sitting here -> O X – X X X – X X on an airbus 330-200.

6/25/06 1320 Dublin time – In our apartment
Just finished breakfast, the sausage here is so odd. I just walked over to the Bank of Ireland to use the ATM (no service charge) and got three lattes (for the future in-laws and myself). But enough of this stuff, let’s get a little history out of the way!

So we got in the morning of the 23rd. I met Lyndz at the airport along with her uncle and two cousins. We waited for her sister’s boyfriend then we got a cab to the hotel. (From here on out we’ll refer to Lyndz’s sister as Freckles, and her sister’s boyfriend as Rockstar. He wore rockstar sunglasses everywhere, don’t ask, it just stuck. So yeah, Freckles and Rockstar. And while we’re playing the *BNR* nickname game we’ll refer to Lyndz’s brother as The Greasy Haired Curly Boy.) But yeah, we got the cab to the hotel, checked in, and then carried our bags from the hotel to the apartment. It was only Lyndz, me, and Rockstar at this point. So, since we were waiting for the rest of the family to arrive, we did some walking around Dublin and got some breakfast. We ended up walking about 2.5 miles on our first jaunt. We came back and got to nap for all of five minutes before the rest of the family showed up. They didn’t have anything except their carry-on luggage; their airline lost the rest of it. Something about them switching flights because of the storm. That damn storm again.

But anyway, they needed clothes and the airline said they’d reimburse expenses up to $50 per person, so we went shopping. We went down to Grafton Street and they got some stuff. Lyndz and I went to our first pub of the trip called “The Old Stand”. It has quite a history, open since 1449! Nuts huh? Then we went to Wagamama for some good Thai food with most of the family. It was nice; we needed a good sit down meal at this point. From there we all went back to the apartment and rested for a while. Everyone was tired and kinda moody by this point, flying all night really takes it out of you. But, we weren’t resting yet, it was too early. So, we decided to meet up with everyone (extended family and everything) in the town of Malahi.

We had to walk to the train station from the apartment, and then take the train to Malahi. It was a long distance, and like I said, by this time everyone was tired. Lyndz’s mom brought up taking a taxi, but I kept saying no and that I wanted to walk. They agreed reluctantly. So we walked it, and in doing so, cut through St. Stephen’s Green. My plan worked perfectly!

Let’s back up a little bit. I’d been brainstorming all these different ways to propose since, well, probably since the week after we started dating. I’m a big soft when it comes to this stuff. I thought of all these elaborate plans, my favorite for a while involved me singing in front of a live band. Anyway, all these involved plans never really did it for me. The park became my favorite idea. It’s simple, beautiful, and above all, romantic. This fountain was my target and we had to walk right past it! As we were walking in I started tearing up, because I knew what I was about to do. Lyndz on the other hand had no idea what was going on. I felt like she knew about that ring box that was burning a hole in my pocket. Anyway, I was sniffling and tearing up, which ended up working perfectly.

When we got in front of the fountain she asked if I needed a tissue. I said yes. She pulled one out of her purse and I blew my nose. Then I reached in my pocket, pulled out a coin and the ring box. I tossed in the coin, made a wish, and then got down on one knee and asked proposed.

There were other people in the park at the time, they clapped and everything. It worked out perfectly. She was shocked and totally surprised. Now we’re engaged!

So we left the park, got on the train, and went to Duffy’s in Malahi. It was an absolute blast. Her parents bought champagne and made a toast. We even went up on the roof for a while and partied there. I took a lot of pictures. We took the train home that night and I napped a little, then we took a cab home from the station to the apartment.

We got up early the next day for our trip to Bray for the spreading of her grandparent’s ashes. We had (weak) coffee on the way, and then awesome Irish lamb stew at the pub. Lyndz and I walked the beach a bit, then everyone joined up and we made our way over and up the mountain to spread the ashes. It was a really nice ceremony even though it was raining.

06/26/06 1000 Dublin time – Dublin Airport, Gate A70. Awaiting the flight to Paris.

Where the hell was I? I don’t update very often when there’s a lot going on and I have to do it by hand. Let’s see...

After the ashes we got back on the train and went to Dalkey and went to a new pub called The Ivory. (Apparently it’s very close to where Bono from U2 lives and we were told he’s been seen there before. The pub itself had just reopened less then a week again, they just remodeled it. It was very modern looking now. We had lunch there with a bunch of Fiancée’s cousins. “Is it 2nd cousin twice removed or 3rd cousin once removed?” We stayed there for a long time, leaving only for a bit to look for Rockstar during that fiasco. (He wandered off after a fight with Freckles and we didn’t find him until we got back to the apartment in Dublin.)

So we ate dinner there at The Ivory. I had muscles and Fiancée had the Salmon. Good stuff. Jimmy taught me to eat them using the shells instead of a fork; you get more of the juice that way. I’ve been eating muscles for years and I never thought of that. It works really well! I didn’t sleep on the train this time, but I did help Rocky’s wife after she took a tumble out of her seat. Fiancée and I stayed outside on our stairway hangout while the whole Rockstar thing was resolved, but before we went inside we went to Zaytoon’s for Humus, gyros, and chips. Very good late night food. We fell asleep late then slept in.

The next day we ate breakfast and I ran out to get coffee (much better this time). We walked around the city for a while. Fiancée and her mom took a tour of Trinity College to see the library and the Book of Kells. Freckles, Rockstar, G.H.C.B., Cousin E, and I walked around the Temple Bar area. We saw this hilarious street performer named David McSavage; Cousin E got some of him on her digital camera. He was hysterical. I wanted to buy one of his DVDs but I didn’t know if they were region specific. That I’m well, I’m cheap. Sorry David. Next time I come to Ireland okay? After the show we met up with Mother-in-law and got some snacks, then we took the train to Lansdowne Road to eat at the hotel some of her family were staying at. Father-in-law was at an Irish Football game right next door, so he met up with us too. Dinner was light, sandwiches and tomato soup. Oh, and most of FIL’s appetizer platter. I also drank a vodka and water by mistake. Oops. We didn’t stay late; we went home and napped a little, and then goofed off until really late.

The greasy food made Jason and I really gassy, we thought it was hysterical. We got up early this morning to pack and eat. FIL and I went for coffee and I sprinted to the ATM for more Euro. Man, you go through this stuff quick!

So now we’re at the airport waiting for our delayed flight to Paris. We already had our adventure with Emma trying to buy a ticket. I’ve been so carefree and relaxed ever since I proposed. I dunno, maybe it’s the fact that I’m engaged now, or that Jason keeps making me look good in comparison. Whatever it is, I’m loving every minute of not being at work.

On a side note, I’ve been drinking Carlsberg a lot while I’m here (in fact I’m drinking it now as I type this out). I know it’s not Irish (It’s from Denmark), but it goes down easy! (I also kept screwing up and calling it Copenhagen, but that’s the city where it’s brewed, not the name of the beer.)

It’s getting really foggy here. I’m sure the plane isn’t getting off in time. We’re already delayed a half-hour, so we’ll see...

06/26/06 1935 Parisian Time – Sitting in our hotel room.
We have the French news on. That’s the only language our TV has. And I don’t speak French. So far I’ve gotten by on “Evian, Bonjour, Pardon, and Merci.” Oh yeah, I’ve been nodding a lot too.

So if French people on the subway, excuse me, Metro, are any indication, then these are the rudest people on the planet! What a culture shock going from Ireland: home of the happy, to France: home of the rude! I started yelling at people who were driving and going off on tangents about beating the next rude asshole who bumped into me. I think I hit a couple cars too, like while people were driving them. I was really pissed off. But anyway...

So yeah, we’re in the ghetto of Paris. We got off the plane and took AN HOUR 15 MINUTE bus ride into the city! That sucked. Then we got some food because we were freaking starving. Next we got into the Metro and had to wade through a mass of people to get our ridiculously small tickets. Then we walked to the trains with our luggage (and since not everyone can pack quite as lightly as I can, there was quite a lot.) The metro sucks for three reasons. #1 It’s full of French people, and as I stated before, they’re quite rude. #2 In addition to being rude, they smell like open ass. #3 Apparently the French have yet to discover air conditioning. I sweated my balls off.

So we got out of the Metro and tried to find out hotel. We walked around the circle of The Palace of the Republic, then wayyyyyy down a street. I dunno the name, it’s French. A long while later (we walked a ton) we walked into the ghetto. I could’ve been East Cleveland, except everyone was wearing winter coats and speaking French. I sat on the stoop of the hotel and watched three drug dealers (runner, dealer, enforcer) do their thing for about 20 minutes. They saw me watching and ignored me, it was very odd.

So our hotel screwed up the reservation, but Fiancée and I ended up with a private room, so who’s complaining.

2330 Paris Time – Same hotel room.

So we walked in the city a while trying to find somewhere to eat dinner. We stayed in the Plaza of the Republic or whatever the hell its called. On the way we stopped so The GHCB could call his girlfriend and Rockstar his mom. We also saw a rainbow and a homeless guy with two dogs, one of which had puppies. I took pictures. Then we found a place to have dinner, where as always it took longer to decide where and what to eat then it did to actually eat. I got more muscles; Lyndz got a massive salad with no dressing because they’re big on Mayonnaise over here. The GHCB got a weird spaghetti with brown sauce, I liked it. Cousin E ordered the wine, I drank half of it. By the end of the meal I really needed a smoke, so with my English sign language I ordered a pack of Marlboro Reds. I went outside to have one (not earning brownie points on that move) and all of a sudden I was an instant Frenchman. I was petting dogs and talking to people and lending smokes out like they were going out of style.

After dinner we came back here to the hotel room and hung out with Freckles, Rockstar, and Cousin E for a while. Now Fiancée is saying goodnight to her mom and I’m writing. It’s our first official night alone together as fiancé and fiancée, so I’m going to enjoy it. Besides, we’re in Paris!

06/27/06
So we woke up and I had a bad headache. We went down to the little dining area and had breakfast. They ended up charging us for it when we checked out, but it wasn’t a bad deal. All the pastry you could eat plus coffee or tea and orange juice. They’re huge on dessert for breakfast over here; I’m surprised they’re not all diabetics. Maybe that’s why they’re all so crabby, with an insulin dump like that they all probably crash around 10am!

But anyways, after that we started our trip around Paris. We went to the stinky cheese store that Fiancée’s mom found earlier while we were eating. While there, we saw a hoof. A real hoof. On display with all the cheese. Very odd. We also bought some postcards and petted a random dog. Then we took the metro to Notre Dame. Before we went in, we saw this guy feeding the birds. I wanted to feed the birds, so I tried with some of the French baguette Cousin E was carrying around. No dice, they wanted no part in that. Then the French guy yelled at me to stop. I didn’t get it at first, but then he got the point across that the police there didn’t like you feeding the birds. Oh. So when the cops weren’t looking, he shoved two pieces of white wonder bread in my hands and held them up. The birds went nuts! I felt like I was the king of the birds.

So then we went inside. It was very nice in there, but I gotta tell you, with all the tourists, I felt uncomfortable. I mean, here I am inside this really old cathedral, and there’s about a few hundred people in there with me. Not very holy feeling. Then there was people taking pictures of this alter while there was a girl up there praying! That felt wrong. I dunno, I just wasn’t all that into it.

After that I managed to break MIL’s camera. I didn’t do it on purpose or anything, but it happened. Nuts. So that took a while when they tried to fix it. In the meantime I tried to make myself scarce by buying some postcards and a shot glass and then hitting the ATM. I also scared off a fake gypsy. I got really good at that as the trip wore on. They approach you saying something like “do you speak English?” then give you this card that’s written in bad English asking you for money. I had fun shooing them away.

We walked by this church with a big statue of St Michael and Fiancée told me to take a picture of it because apparently it’s very famous. I dunno.

Then we went to the Seine River boat taxi tour thing. It was really cool; you got on and off the boat with one ticket, and in doing so you can hit all the major touristy points in Paris. What was even cooler was the fact that the ticket guy screwed up with our change and only charged fiancée and I a total of 4 Euro for both of our tickets. Hooray!

We took the boat to the Louvre. We didn’t go inside because it was closed, but we walked all over the Garden de Tuillerics and whilst there took some hysterical pictures with the fountains. We also played in the hedges.

We got some awesome sandwiches on long French bread (with mayo) for lunch. Then we went to the Plaza De La Concord and I took pictures of the fountain and the obelisk (again, because I was told to). Then we walked down Champs Elysee road and I took a couple pictures of the Arc de Triumph. We didn’t go down to it because traffic there is horrible and all I really wanted was a picture anyway. So, we walked to the Bridge of Angels and took some pictures of that (nice bridge). I walked around with my shirt off and my American Flag boxers hanging out, it was funny at the time. It was really hot there, so I had to stay goofy, or I’d get cranky.

Then we took the boat to the Eiffel tower. We had to wait in line a while, then we took the elevator up and looked around. There were some stinky people up there. I was surprised how tall that thing is though, for some reason I thought it was a lot shorter. We ended up taking the stairs part of the way down, which was pretty cool. There was no danger of falling or anything, but it was still kinda scary. Back on the ground I snapped a picture of the French military guards (useless) and we tried to find a bathroom. When we finally did, I was really bothered by the fact that there were over a dozen urinals and toilets in the guy’s bathroom, and only one sink. Then I noticed that it didn’t matter, because almost nobody washed their hands! It was really sick.

Then we took the boat a while (and slept a bit). We ended up walking a whole lot to St. Germaine Depreys, then St. Saleperise that was closed. Nuts. I really wanted to see the Rose Line (it was mentioned in The Davinci Code). We did wander into the Crypt of St. Francis, but we were quickly kicked out of there. Then we found the metro (after a long search) and took that to somewhere near the casacre coer. I really needed to pee, so when I saw a public toilet, I went for it. When I stepped inside, everything was covered in urine, even the handle of the door I just touched. I was so pissed. I left that and eventually found a hotel that was kind enough to let me use its bathroom so I could wash my hands. Sick. We walked a whole lot up to this point, so everyone was pretty cranky. Then we had the option of walking up the stairs all the way up to the church, or taking the train. MIL, Cousin E, and Fiancée all the took the train. GHCB, Rockstar, Freckles, and I walked the stairs. In doing so the African guys who were selling these string bracelet harassed us things that they made while you watched. Stupid.

Finally we made it to Mount Martre, these outdoor cafés that were actually really nice. We had a crazy dinner, at first everyone was tired and upset, and by the end of it I was dancing with Fiancée in the street. I also ate everyone else’s food, including “The best salad I’ve ever eaten”. We met a guy from Canton in one of the shops there, and then watched the Eiffel Tower all lit up from the top of the mountain. It was really pretty, then at midnight it sparkled, that was awesome.

From there we walked home avoiding a mugging on the way.

06/28/06 0940 – Paris Hotel Room
“I’m le tired. Need to pack. “So le tired.”
That was my entry for this morning. The ‘le tired’ thing is from “The End of the World” cartoon that’s posted in one of the right hand columns on the *BNR* main page.

But anyway, we ate breakfast and packed up, then went to a random store for really cheap wine and cookies. We checked out, and then locked our bags up in a little room next to the front desk. Rockstar finally had a bowel movement (5 days, we were getting worried), and then we took the metro to the Louvre. I gotta tell you, I was impressed by the size of the place, but whoever designed it was a complete idiot. It’s so easy to get lost there, especially when you’re trying to find something in particular! That stupid Winged Victory statue was haunting us! Every time we tried to get somewhere else, we’d end up right in front of the damn thing! That, combined with the heat (it was so f-ing hot in there, I hate the French for their lack of air conditioning) made me really tired. Fiancée finally convinced me to take a nap. In the middle of the Louvre. It really helped though, and after that we walked around some more. We saw The Mona Lisa (so not impressed) and also ran into Joy and Rocky in front of Cupid and Psyche. That was the only thing in the museum that I really liked.

Then we went for a really long walk trying to find this ice cream store that’s “the best in the world”. Again, I was not impressed. We went to dinner over there too. Our waiter hated us, so we stole a glass from that place too. Then we went back to the hotel for our bags. By this point, I was really sickly like, I dunno what was wrong with me, but I felt like I was going to pass out and throw up and the same time. We took the long hot metro ride back to the bus area, and boarded shortly thereafter for the long trip back to the airport. I slept most of the way thoroughly enjoying the air-conditioned coach. We survived the cattle like boarding of the airplane and made it on okay. The stupid Ryan Air flight attendants never shut the hell up, they keep bothering you with random shit to buy and things to donate for and food to buy, and on and on. Don’t they realize that people just want to be left the hell alone? Finally, on the way from Dublin airport to our apartment, we were totally ripped off by the taxi. I ended up paying him 50 euro just so we didn’t have to deal with it and because I was too tired to do anything about it. If I hadn’t been so tired and worn out I totally would’ve kicked his ass, but in my condition, I would’ve been useless. We got some gyros and passed out right away.

06/29/06 2320 – Dublin apartment, getting ready for the bar
Everyone got up really late, including me. When I got up though, I left right away to get some coffee and sit by the canal. It was really relaxing. I came back, then left right away to buy some paper towel and a Brillo pad, and then left again with Rockstar to buy laundry soap and chocolate for the girls. We ate breakfast late, then I washed all the dishes and pots and pans and stuff while Fiancée raged. We took the train to Fiancée’s Great Aunt in Law’s house for tea. It was very nice. Afterwards we went to Little Caesar’s (no relation to the pizza chain) for dinner. It was very hot there. We walked home in the rain and I carried Fiancée’s purse. Rockstar and I went out for alcohol to pre-party (Carlsberg for me Rockstar, Cousin D, and Uncle L and Vodka, OJ, and Cranberry for MIL, FIL, Fiancée and Freckles) then we all hung out in our little bedroom looking at pictures and getting ready to party for the night. We went to the club in the hotel that owns the apartments we were staying in. We danced a lot and drank even more. In the end we closed down the bar, Rockstar and Freckles got in a fight, and Fiancée and I left playing chaperones. When we got back to the apartment I attempted my “puke on purpose at night so I’m not sick in the morning” routine and totally failed! I couldn’t puke! I think it was stage fright from everyone else in the apartment being so close, but still! I was very disappointed in myself. We were about to fall asleep around 0430 when we heard this loud drunk guy screaming in the alley. It turned into quite the event with our downstairs neighbor girl hopping over the balcony and all, but in the end, I really think Sean and his buddy killed him. Seriously.

06/30/06
So I got up and showered fast. I wanted to get out of the way, because after last night, this had a potential for being an ugly morning. When I finished up I got a cup of coffee and read the paper, then I went to the Internet café to check my email and do some random surfing, I was in withdrawal. The strange thing was, I didn’t miss my cell phone at all. I kept reaching for it to check for messages, but since it wasn’t there, I did really care. I will admit that I kept it charged at all times for use as an alarm clock though.

So then it was back for breakfast with the family. Everyone was pretty much ready by this point, so shortly after we left on a hunt for the city bus tour. On the way I found 20 Euro lying in the street, that was a really cool. There’s nothing in the world like finding free money. The tour drove all over the city and Fiancée and I listened through one set of headphones. When we stopped at the Guinness factory everyone got off, and we took the tour. Well, not really. As we discovered on our last trip, its self guided. So this time we kinda forgot to pay. The tour was different this time though; there was a place to taste a free shot of fresh Guinness. GHCB took one like the rest of us. Nobody thought about him being underage until the server girl called him on it. FIL was brilliant as always in distracting her and we scooted out of there real quick like. We took pictures from the sky bar, and then went down to the gift shop. I got another t-shirt, this one green. Hooray for Guinness!

We waited a while for the red bus, and eventually caved and got on a yellow bus. Because of that, we had to walk a bit to our next destination: Kilmainham Jail; but in doing so, we walked through the Irish Museum of Modern Art. It was formerly the old military hospital and was a very impressive building with an equally impressive landscape. I took more “art school” pictures, but I couldn’t fit those into the photo album because combined they’re too long. Maybe I’ll frame them or something. I was big into my “art school” photos on this trip.

The jail was as amazing as FIL promised it would be. The tour guide was amazing; he really knew he stuff. Irish history is really cool, especially modern Irish history. I want to take a class or two about it (Fiancée got a minor in it, so I’ve got some catching up to do). Oh! At one point during the tour Fiancée was the only person standing behind me, and she was a good 15 feet back. I swore I felt someone grab a hold of my shoulder. Not like a quick tap, but a good grab. I turned around and she was way to far back to have touched me, and nobody else was around. It was spooky. Seriously, something grabbed my shoulder.

From there we took the city bus back into the center of town, but Fiancée and I got off around her old street and got some crepes at Lemon Jelly. They were so good. I would go back for more of those. We took the long walk back to the apartment and on the way bought peanut butter and bread for our upcoming road trips.

When we got there, MIL had made a full dinner (and done laundry), so the apartment was really warm. Then the rest of the family from across the hall came over to join us, so we were pretty packed in there for a while. Afterwards Fiancée and I went down to the canal and I vented about work for a while. We came back but stayed on our stairs for a while before finally going inside for the night.

07/01/06
We got up early with FIL waking everyone up to get ready for the day’s road trip. I got coffee and croissants while everyone else got ready, then when MIL showed up, we piled into the tiny Renault seven-seater and began our LONG trip to the Cliffs of Moher. When I say seven-seater, I’m stating what the manufacture designed it for. And they must’ve designed it for midgets, because there’s no way seven adults could fit in that thing. Especially because there was no trunk at all and we had to put our bags somewhere. GHCB ended up going in the second car with Cousins E and D and Uncle L. We made a lot of random stops on the way to the cliffs, mostly because we got lost. A lot.

When we finally got there everyone was pretty crabby. Eating helped, and so did going up to the cliffs and climbing over the barrier to lie on the very edge. It was wild. We were honestly scared, but that didn’t stop us. We also got to see the new visitor center being built and I accurately stated that it looked like they are going to rebury it in the mountain when they’re done. Afterwards we stopped at the gift shop (I got a shot glass), and then we made our way to the Marchmont Bed and Breakfast. We checked in, and then went down the road to the pub for dinner. The stew was really good there, it was a dark beef stew made with Guinness. Mmmmm. Then we went to another pub for some drinking and traditional Irish music. As we were leaving the first pub Fiancée got hit on by a couple Irish guys. No big deal. So anywho, the music was cool at the second pub. I also got into an argument with a woman from Latvia regarding whether or not her home country was regarded at as Eastern European. How could she get the wrong? Oh well.

So as we were leaving the second pub, we had to pass the first to make it to the B&B. Outside that pub was one of the guys who hit on her before. This time though he was obviously intoxicated and was being talked down by one of his friends. It looked like he was about to get in a fight with someone inside. Anywho though, he recognized Fiancée and started making comments again, this time saying something to the effect of “you don’t belong with him” or something like that. I got really pissed and wanted to kick the crap out of him. It took everything in Fiancée’s power to keep me from getting in the fight I so badly wanted to be in. When we got back to the B&B we were going to go to sleep but ended up watching a hysterical movie called Coming Soon. It was a fun night.

07/02/06
We got up in the morning and I managed to whack my head on the showerhead really hard, not once, but twice. It really hurt and I had a mark for a couple days. The breakfast was decent; the elderly lady who cooked it (and ran the place with her husband) was pleasant but not very talkative. We found out later that she’s been doing this for years and years, so I guess she’s probably said everything that could be said.

We left there to drive to the Burren and on the way stopped at a random castle. I didn’t take any pictures there because gnats attacked us. They were vicious. The Burren was awesome; we took a lot of pictures. We stopped at a hotdog stand across the street, which ended up being close to genius seeing as we didn’t really stop for food on a very regular basis. We also saw a lot of cows and sheep, and stopped at the beach for a while. I read the paper and chilled while everyone walked around. Fiancée and I were crammed in the backseat for this part of the trip, and that wasn’t working out very well for us.

Next we stopped at Aillwee cave. It was pretty cool, but I remember going to caves as a kid, so I wasn’t blown away or anything. Nobody else had every been in a cave before though, so it was cool to be there and experience it with them.

Then we took a long drive to Galway; afterwards they decided to stay for another night. None of us had packed for three days, so we weren’t too keen on staying. Fiancée and I wanted to take the train back to Dublin, but we decided to stay. That alone earned me the right to smoke two cigarettes though. That really didn’t help too much for the next ride though, we drove to Clifton. This should’ve been a 45-minute ride, but it took about an hour and a half. Combining the terrible roads, the curves, the continuous slamming of my head into the car’s interior roof, and being crammed in the back seat, I arrived there with a massive headache.

Fortunately, we arrived at The Connemara Country Lodge and were greeted by the proprietor named Mary. Seriously, Mary saved this part of our trip. When we got there, she came out and told us that all the rooms were booked and that we’d have to drive back to Galway. She totally got Uncle L with the gag. He was about to blow a gasket; it was absolutely hysterical. Even I was smiling. Mary was an extremely happy woman and I can’t say enough about her. So, if you’re in the area, spend the night at The Connemara Country Lodge and say hi to Mary for me.

After we checked in and rested a bit, we went out to the pub for two of the best tasting Guinness’s I’ve ever had. While there we also managed to fix Cousin E’s power converter using nothing but a wine key. It was very Macgyverish of me. When we went back, Fiancée, Cousin E, and I stayed outside for a while and enjoyed the stars. I laid in the grass for a while; it was very relaxing. I ended up following Cousin E into her room my accident, but found my way back into my room with Fiancée and made fun of her bathroom noises.

07/03/06
We got up for Breakfast, but this time it was really cool. Not only did Mary cook the breakfast on her own (and it was delicious) she also sang for us! Seriously, Mary was awesome. After eating, I went back upstairs for a quick nap while everyone got ready. My quick nap turned into a long nap as everyone left me! They went shopping or something and totally left me there! I woke up and couldn’t find anyone. Eventually they turned up and we took a trip to Kylemore Abbey. We didn’t take the tour because the guidebooks said they’re a let down, but the pictures turned out great. When we drove from there to Galway I sat up front. It was wonderful; I could enjoy the scenery and didn’t get carsick. We took pictures of the sheep and Fiancée chasing the sheep. We stopped at The King’s Head for some Irish stew and smoothies. Fiancée and I took the bus from Galway to Dublin and I slept most of the way. I kept getting whiplash from my head dropping off when I fell asleep.

We got dropped off around Grafton Street and met the family at the apartment. We went out for pizza and garlic bread (take away from Little Caesar’s again) and for some alcohol for the evening. (2 cans of Carlsberg, 1 bottle of Carlsberg, and 1 bottle of Bulmers for Fiancée). We drank and ate at the apartment, then tried to go to the Bleeding Horse for a drink, but they were closed. So we went back to the apartment and played some UNO. Everyone was really tired/drunk. Fiancée spilled my beer and Freckles kept punching Rockstar for saying “fuck”. I enjoyed my air mattress that night.

07/04/06 - Happy Independence Day!
I wore my American Flag boxers again (I brought two pairs). We got up late and went to the Internet café again. Then we took the bus to Bagel Haven and got some good sandwiches. There were no scones at Fiancée’s favorite bakery, but there were some at Queen of Torts. We walked the river for nostalgia, and then went shopping. I was a good fiancé and carried the bags and waited while she tried on clothes. We also bought a lot of chocolates and visited St. Stephen’s Green again. We came back ate some very greasy, but very good, black pudding. Mmmmm. I drank my free energy drink (Lucozade), it was delicious. Then we spent the night at the Bleeding Horse for drinking and watching Italy vs. Germany. It was a great way to cap off the trip. Then we came home to pack and ended up staying up later then we wanted (1:30am)

07/05/06
We got back up at 4:45am and finished packing. We made a quick exit in two vans and checked in at the airport. We got two seats together using the engagement card, which was very nice. We said goodbye to the family and then finally boarded our Aer Lingus flight back to NYC.

X X – X X X X – US <- We sat there.

There was no Family Guy on this flight, but we did get free champagne from the very nice flight attendant. We were very tired, but it was very bright because we were flying during the day. I ended up reading most of The Firm. I did end up taking a long nap right before we landed at JFK. We attempted to get me a later flight out of NYC so I could spend more time with Fiancée, but we were totally shot down by the crabby lady with red hair: “Haven’t you two spent enough time together already?” We took the train back to the international gate, exchanged our money back, then got food at the Sam Adams Bar and watched France vs. Portugal and tried to ignore our now working cell phones. Eventually though, I had to leave, so Fiancée walked me up to security and we said our goodbyes.

It was an amazing trip, and I was so sad to leave both Ireland and my now fiancée.

But that’s not all! Here are some random things I jotted down while traveling that didn’t fit in the narrative!

I took one of the glasses from the bar where we celebrated our engagement; I wanted a memento of the event. That became a running theme through the trip with Rockstar, Freckles, and Fiancée helping out at different times. They turned into great souvenirs and gifts.

In France I was big on the mineral water. It tastes really salty, but I was totally into it.

Also while in France I washed my boxers and a t-shirt in the sink because they were soaked in sweat and I thought I’d need them later. Fiancée taught me how.

Still on France: I developed a mantra while walking all over the city: “Fuck France”. This turned into “I love France” because it wasn’t very MIL friendly. Even the GHCB got into it.

I collected used cigarette boxes because I thought the warnings were hysterical. I made a collage of them in my photo album

I developed a hilarious French accent while mocking everything I didn’t like.

The shower in the French hotel room only had half of a shower door. I made a mess.

I dunno if I mentioned this already, but the stupid metro in Paris has no air conditioning. They have the technology to use their cell phones in the subway, but no AC. Idiots.

I loved the gargoyles on top of the churches. It made me want to come home and re-watch the cartoon on DVD.

I developed a crazy wave; the people on the boats loved it. I must’ve looked like I had Down’s.

There were no paper towels in bathrooms anywhere on this trip except for at Little Caesar’s and at the Guinness Storehouse. That was so damn irritating! I hate hand blowers!

The bathrooms at the Louvre were absolutely disgusting. Seriously, they were horrible. The most magnificent museum in the world (or so I’ve been told) and their bathrooms were terrible.

I developed quite a substantial (fictitious) resume on this trip, including:
Working at the Snickers factory while reading Voltaire at the age of 3
Obtaining a grade 12 reading level at age 4
Being hit by a truck with all 18 wheels crushing my pelvis and still walked away
Worked as a master chef in a bakery
Graduated with honors from Art School
Became a certified botanist
Performed as a pro-wrestler and competed in Strongman competitions.

The street performers on Grafton Street were pretty cool.

So that’s it! That’s the EuroTrip UPDATE! I hope you enjoyed it; it took many hours to type out. If anyone reads the whole thing, let me know. I’m really curious to see if there’s anyone out there that had the time to read all 16 some odd pages!

Later, -T-
Audentes fortuna iuvat

P.S. There’s some pictures posted here from the trip. Enjoy them at your leisure, but I have to warn you, they’re out of order. Thanks for reading!